I have a few impertinent questions I would like to pose…and like jesting Pilate, I’ll wait not for an answer and provide them myself.

For example, as I listen to reports about would-be Texas secessionists protesting against the Obama stimulus package or anything else he does, I want to ask them if they have any idea what their tax burden would be if they assumed independence. Let me answer that for the Texans…but first couldn’t you have suggested secession before Bush and Cheney, two Lone Star favorite sons took office? You would have had much support…but, back to the question.

There would be no federal money available to you so you’d have to tax Texans for your military, police forces, fire departments, schools, hospitals, libraries, and prisons. Then there is the expensive cost for executions and you are currently leading the nation in that department. And you’d have to pay for the fence all by yourself, protecting yourself from “invading” South and Central Americans. And when a hurricane or tornado wipes out a town, you won’t be able to look to Washington for immediate help. Also, because you might have been so effective in blocking immigration to the states you might have difficulty visiting mishbuka in Oklahoma.

After all, we don’t want all those foreigners filling up our roads and bridges. My two concerns are that the Dallas Cowboys remain in the NFL and the San Antonio Spurs stay with the NBA. You all would need visas to see your teams at away games. Other than that, a part of me would like to get rid of the state that gave us Bush, Cheney, Tom DeLay, Dick Armey and a few other scoundrels. So, all in all, adios amigos.

Question two surfaced when I heard that a collection of Notre Dame alumni were protesting President Obama being selected to receive an honorary degree from Football Tech…because of his stance on abortion. My question is when did the university become a one-issue institution? It is curious because Notre Dame did honor Obama’s predecessor, a man who created a war based on lies. Does the killing of civilians not offend the religious dogma of their principled alumni? I would also like to ask the Notre Dame purists if they do a litmus test on abortion for Saturday afternoon quarterbacks, linebackers, and running backs, or if that is only a restriction placed on Democrats and African-Americans? Lots of questions for the South Bend Philistines.

And then there are questions for Dick Cheney who, after 8 years as a key strategist in the atrocious administration which has nearly destroyed my country, has the unmitigated gall to become a TV critic of the Obama administration…just three months after the current President began the arduous assignment of unraveling the incompetence and immorality that preceded him. My question to Darth Vader, in response to his statement that the use of torture saved American lives, is this: Cheney, have you examined the hundreds of cases in which prison inmates were found innocent based on DNA testing? Many of them confessed to crimes they did not commit…because people will say anything to end their torture and get out of that room. Would Mr. Former Vice President agree to coming into a closed room with agents and discussing the shooting of a colleague while on a hunting trip? Dick, I bet we could get you to confess to attempted murder with just a few hours in a room with some experts on torture. Wanna try it? And that is a question.

And from the ridiculous Dick Cheney to the sublime New York Yankees and their spiffy new stadium. Michael Kay and his collection of old time players on the Yes Network have practically been orgasmic in praising the new playing grounds…and told us of the sumptuous players’ lounge, making it sound like the Taj Mahal, with virtually everything you needed right there! On our tax dollars. But the Sunday Times ran a story, unreported by the Yes cheerleaders and that was about the high school kids whose playing field was removed for the building of the new stadium.

What happened to all those athletic fields and parks that were promised for the Bronx kids? The Yankees were to get the tax breaks and the kids were to get improved fields of play. It hasn’t worked out that way. The Times finally reported on something we all saw and that was the rows of empty seats around first and third base. Along with the palatial internal appointment and the unaffordable prices, the Yankees have made baseball a treat for the privileged. The stadium was built with an eye on those corporations which buy luxury boxes but that crashed head-on with the economic downspin. One of my questions is: Why don’t the Yankees fill those empty seats with neighborhood kids who lost their playing fields and can’t afford the price of a ticket. I think I know the answer to that one but I would love to hear the official word…if someone would only ask.

I have a great many more questions…but this will satisfy my curiosity for now…as I await responses from Texas Governor Perry, the Notre Dame alumni, Dick Cheney, and George Steinbrenner or Michael Kay.


In the meantime, I’m David Rothenberg…out on a limb!